So after doing my pre-sleep routine that consists of checking my facebook, in hopes that one of my friends who also refuses to have a life may have commented one of my many mindless quips, brushing my teeth of coarse, spending half an hour telling my fiance goodnight, and setting my alarm only to see that I need to be up in less than 7 hours :(. I came to the realization that I am going to be away from Kayla for right around a year, with only a visit or two during the duration of Basic/ Tech school.
You see this presents itself as a problem because we have never been apart for longer than 2 weeks in our 2 year and 1 month relationship. Those two weeks was basically one long phone conversation/text novel. The hardest part is knowing that her "best friend" happens to not be a very good influence on anybody. I trust Kayla I really do. Sometimes my mind is just swarming with negative thoughts about what "could happen". When in reality I know will never happen.
She is a pure, gentle, kind, loving, smart, beautiful person that has not only blessed me with her love, but also brought me to closer to God. I did not convert, or do anything weird lol. I am a confirmed Christian- Lutheran and made the choice for myself. I try to always be in the impossibly happy moods that she is always in but fail to do so because of fear of seperation from her. It is different for her because she knows that im going to be getting my ass whooped into shape at basic and studying like crazy at tech school. Granite she is going to busy planing our wedding without my novel ideas like a Chocolate Fountain, or FunFetti Cake. I fear she may get lonley or board or even miss the clossness I offered. These are the psychotic thoughts that at times pull me farther from her. I do adore her quite a bit. I also know she would not have said yes to marry me if there were any doubt in her mind. shes not that kind of girl.
As I look at my AVG anti virus "scan in progress" icon at the bottom right of my screen I wonder if I am somehow subconciously running my own Virus scan on my life. I mean there are times where I analyze my life so much to the point of finding problems that arnt even there. I need to just stop and enjoy the moment that I am in and take life for what it is. [ pressing stop on the virus scan to see that there are no new threats].
Ill sign off with this... Life is short, friends come and go as time passes, but true love, and family is where you will gain the biggest blessings life has to offer.
Thanks for wasting some time,
Nick
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